B season 2012 begins

So much has happened since I last posted on this blog..Steve and Steff are no longer together.  Fishing was apparently tough on that relationship.  The dogs had to be split up as well.  Steve couldn't find anyone to watch the terrier and Steff still watches the Boxer while Steve's gone.

 Lin's oldest daughter turns 40 June 8th and the oldest grandson just graduated from High School.  We went to Boise for the occasion just before he left for B season.  It was a big bash with many people all staying at Michelle's house.  She borrowed two travel trailers for the occasion and Lin and I stayed in our camper.  We came back home, he worked all week on the boat and left yesterday morning for two and a half months.  That is the longest we've been apart in a long time.  I will definitely be missing my honey.

Now it's time for me to get a new routine going again.  I signed up for a writing class this July so hopefully that will inspire me to write more.  I have been working in the yard, attempting to grow some of my own salad materials and some new flower beds have been added as well.  It's time to add in an exercise routine now too. I would like to ride my bike more often and want to sign up for a yoga class.  My tendency towards depression seems to have less power when I exercise regularly.

He's Baaack!

I'm a lucky woman. My hubby is home and healthy. I just love having him around. We are extremely compatible. You have to be to spend as much time together as we did when we worked on the same boat at sea. Our bond just seems to get stronger every year. Perhaps it is the realization that we are growing old? Or our common interest in kiteboarding? Or my recovery from alcoholism? Whatever it is, it works.

He flew home Monday night and his friend Alan called him the next day to go kiting. I had errands to run and was glad to see him get out and have some fun. Wednesday we went up to hang out with his daughters and the grandkids. Pat, our son in law, made a fabulous stew with Irish Soda bread for St. Patrick's day. Today we went back there and painted a primer coat on Addy's new bedroom. We leave for Mexico soon so we need to see family as much as we can. We can never get too much of our adorable grandkids.

Lin was very tired when he got home and in need of a good meal, which was more than happy to provide. Buffet line dining makes him appreciate my cooking a lot more! Now we have to get any business that needs to be attended to done before we leave. Doctor's appointments, bills paid, cat sitter lined up and travel arrangements made. Taking care of these things is a lot easier than it was when we BOTH fished for a living. At least I'm home to do most of it while he's fishing.

These are the adorable grandkids : )

Well, I'm feeling sad for my friends who still have husband's and lovers at sea. My hubby took off the last trip so I get to see him sooner than some. And poor Marci has been with her husband only four weeks out of the last six months! YIKES! Hang in there Marci!

Missing my man

So, it's been awhile since I've posted.. I was going to interview some friends after valentine's day but that didn't happen. I went to Boise that weekend and had a great time with my hubby's oldest daughter and family. We drove to Grand Targhee and had some fun in the snow and sunshine. The Tetons were beautiful. Michelle's teenage boy Zack and his friend Sam really appreciated the name of a certain mountain there. It was named for someone's nipple. My granddaughter Julia was a good sport since she had to limp around on a sore foot.

I laughed so hard that weekend my stomach hurt on the plane ride home. That family likes to have a good time, that's for sure! I'm lucky to be a part of it.

Then I came home to my cats and was surprised on Tuesday night by a bouquet of red roses. I told Lin last year not to buy flowers again because they are expensive but I guess he thinks I'm worth it. I have made them last as long as I possibly could. There is still one rose with a little life left in it. He's due home in about two weeks now and I'm trying to stay in my routine and not let myself get too excited. Steff's man came home last night at 1:00am but he had a tough time getting out of Dutch Harbor. The weather there can be pretty iffy for flying. Actually, I just checked the weather for that area and I feel like it's pretty iffy for doing anything right now! The wind is gusting to 67mph - that makes me nervous when my hubby is out at sea. It's a night for strong prayers. Unfortunately bad weather also means they can't fish right now. That means another day added to time away.

Anyway, I went to the Bon Jovi concert with Marci and Chris the week after visiting Boise. It was a hoot. Missed my lover during the love songs but laughed at the girls while I filmed them dancing. I picked up Marci from the airport that morning and she was really missing her Tommy. She'd just lost her grandfather too, so it was a tough time for her. We learn to make the best of time with friends when they are available though, so she kept a stiff upperlip. The two of us had a nice lunch at Pike Place. A cute little resteraunt with outside tables overlooking the marketplace. The weather was outstanding for February in Seattle. Sunshine and fresh sea air perked the two of us up for the day. Marci laughed as the Norweigan in me drove us straight to Ballard. We walked the beach at Shilshole and then headed to her hotel where she was meeting her roommates for the night. I had arranged to stay with a friend named Laurie who lives in Ballard and actually introduced me to the whole fishing world in 1991. After the concert, I headed over there and we chatted and watched the Olympics until 3:30 in the morning! I haven't been up that late in years.. It was nice.

The next day was Laurie's birthday celebration and she wanted to go with a group of old friends to the Globetrotters. That was fun and I got to enjoy the company of our friend's kids. Kids always seem to make me smile. We all had supper at Jalisco's afterwards and chatted up old times. I made plans to snowboard with Laurie's brother on March 9th at Crystal Mountain.

Last weekend I managed to borrow my two granddaughters from their parents in Rainier Beach. I was feeling especially low that day and they made it all better. We had a good time watching movies, going to the park and planting seeds for veggies to enjoy this summer. I really didn't want to take them home. I am blessed with wonderful grandchildren, all six of them. Their parents are okay too :)

This week I've been busy trying to deal with our rental house. I am beginning to realize I can at least try to do the things my husband usually does. We fished together for years and then when I quit fishing I became the only one at home to take care of the stuff he usually did. It's a challenge, but rewarding when I am actually able to fix something or find someone who can.
Well, that's enough about me for now. I hope to hear from some of the other gals and catch up on their situations. March 22nd we head for Mexico! I am feeling the sunshine already...

Holidays

Valentine's day is coming up for those of us with husband's at sea and I am planning to see how the different women fair through this holiday. I will be heading to Boise to visit my husband's oldest daughter Michelle and our grandkids. We will be heading to Grand Targhee for a ski/snowboard vacation so I should be able to keep my mind off the holiday. I am curious to see what the other women will be up to..

So, I am just getting accustomed to the Blog format. I spent the past few days snowboarding, visiting grandchildren and watching the, "Rat City Rollergirls", with about 12 other women. I tend to stay busy to keep my mind off of my fisherman. I also managed to check in with another fisherman's wife.

Marci is an upbeat brunette in her forties, married to a tall Bill Gates look-alike. Tommy works for a company that fishes in the waters west of Chile on a 400ft catcher processor. His schedule is supposed to be 90 days at sea and 90 days at home with her. Unfortunately for them this schedule has not been realized just yet. She has endured long periods without him and not been able to enjoy him at home for the time promised. They are hopeful with changes in the company that this schedule will soon take become fact rather than fiction.

The biggest challenge for Marci other than missing Tommy is the fact that she is left alone to raise their nine year-old special needs boy Andrej. Andrej was adopted as a baby from Russia and they came to find out that he has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders. They picked him up from an orphanage at 15 months old and brought him back to the United States as their son. He has brought much love and joy to the family but has taught them some of the issues faced by parents raising special needs children. This year has been especially emotional for Marci. At age nine the learning disabilities that Andrej was born with have become more apparent. He has required the help of specialists who can help with his disorders, and his ADHD. Andrej has a difficult time with change and so the arrivals and departures of his father are taxing on the whole family as they adjust. Tommy and Marci enjoy travelling when he's home and also camping, and skiing. Sometimes it takes a lot of encouragement to get Andrej onboard with the game plan but he settles in eventually.

Marci says she copes with Tommy being gone by attending Hot Yoga for stress and hanging out with her girlfriends who give her emotional support. She arranged for a few of us fishwives to attend Bon Jovi in Seattle this February 20th. Should be a hoot. The positives to her husband's fishing are that she can afford to stay home with Andrej and is available to volunteer at the school and partake in his educational needs. Also she is able to pursue her passions for cooking and gardening.

Months without your man

I am married to a fisherman. So are a few of my friends. I have decided to use this blog to reach out to other women who's men are away for long periods of time. My goal is to find out how they cope with life's challenges while their loved ones are at work, and what positive results can come from such a relationship. I will be adding to this blog as often as I receive new material so feel free to check in anytime.

My husband and I actually met at sea. I graduated from Western Washington University with a degree in English in 1989. An old roommate tried to give me a lead on a job at Microsoft but I was insecure and felt I needed to shed a few pounds first. For some reason, this led me to a job at sea on a fishing vessel. It was a 320 foot catcher-processor and I was one of about 100 or so key and processing crew. I started out in the factory as a processor and lost those pounds pretty quick with the 12 to 14 hour work days. Anyway, eventually I became a purser on the vessel and met my future husband who was a production manager. We were friends for a long time before we actually dated but that's another story. I worked in the industry for twelve years so I have a pretty good idea of what our spouses go through out there.

Now that I am retired from fishing and my husband still goes to sea, I find myself presented with new challenges. I have spent a lot of time with my man and I feel a big emptiness when he is gone. I also become the only caretaker of two homes as we own both our home and a rental. I retired from my previous job as a Montessori assistant teacher because we wanted to travel when he's home and can't really do that with a full time job. This has left me with a gap to fill while he's gone and also with the feeling that I'm not contributing financially to the household.

The positive side is that I get to pursue my interests which include: enjoying my grandchildren, working out, socializing, hopefully getting into some volunteer work, soul searching, reading and writing. Some of these interests I also take part in while my hubby is home but I try to pamper him a little since I know what it's like at sea.

Cru's husband also works at sea. She informed me her husband dated her for seven years before they married because he said they were only around each other for three of those years. They now have two kids ages 7 and 9. He tried to retire from fishing when the kids were born because he wanted to be home with them but couldn't find a job that compared financially. He also found that he could spend a lot of time with them when he's home, more so than if he actually had a nine to five job. I spent the night over at Cru's house just after our guys went to sea and could feel that something was missing in their household. She says some of the challenges she faces are that she gets very down when he leaves and feels overwhelmed. All of a sudden she has all of the chores and responsibilities and feels like she's not enough for the kids by herself. Cru feels like she's softer with the kids and there isn't a consistency between when he's home and when he's away. They have learned to have a meeting with just the two of them when he gets home so she can update him on the new rules and regulations so he'll back her up. He is grumpy when he gets home and says he needs to acclimate and then stresses out when it's time to go again. He says he doesn't mind the work, just doesn't like to be gone.

Cru says the positive side of being married to a fisherman is that they get to take some great vacations when he's home and they are able to pay the bills. She enjoys the companionship they get to experience when he's home and the fact that he can greet the kids when they get home from school. Cru also likes the freedom to explore her own interests when he's around and when he's gone. If he's home with the kids, then she has the freedom to go visit her friends and have outings to horse ranches and scrapbook parties. If he's gone, she does more with the kids and extended family.


I've recently been introduced to someone who is brand new to the experience of being with a fisherman. Steff is engaged to someone who left fishing years ago and recently returned due to the economy. I am being provided with some fresh insight into what I felt like 5 years ago when I quit fishing. Steff says it's a lot more difficult than she imagined and the first week she felt sad, numb, confused, and sad some more. Some of the challenges she faces are balancing full time work with care for their four dogs, taking care of everything at the house and realizing that she can only accomplish a few things at a time. She also worries about her fiance's safety and misses spending time with him. Another lesson came up when she found out he didn't really want to know what problems needed fixing at home. She was firmly reminded by her spouse that there was nothing he could do about the present predicament she was in and please don't stress him out with stuff he is unable to help with. Steph also shared that she talks to the dogs alot. I can relate because I tend to talk to my kitties quite often too. No, we are not crazy - we just need to hear our thoughts voiced once in awhile!

One thing that Steff is gaining from her experience is a new appreciation for her other half. She didn't realize how much he meant to her until he was gone. She also says she really feels for the military wives who have husbands gone for even longer periods of time and in more dangerous situations. If she can make it through this ordeal, Steff feels her relationship will be even stronger.